Passive Depressive #158
July 17, 2008
Ask BE: What should I say in a job interview?
July 16, 2008
The prestige of having been employed in the same entry level job for seven years (without promotion) has lead many of our readers to seek my advice in career matters[1]. Traditionally, I answer via private correspondence (mostly with biting personal commentary and ugly sexual innuendo), but a recent wave of joblessness among my cohort has convinced to disseminate my wisdom in a more public fashion.
As my expertise is largely rooted in matters rhetorical, I will approach the topic as such. My time in the business world has taught me exactly one thing: context in more important than content. Being able to frame information in a self-constructive fashion is the entirety of the battle; master the spin, and you win.
Thus I give you Ask BE: What should I say in a job interview
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The Statement: I’m not afraid to cut a nigga if he gets too close!
While this assertion could potentially establish your stret cred, your interviewer is unlikely to draw any positive inference from it. Additionally: if the interviewer does haphazardly wander too close…you will need to cut him, or risk losing any previously accrued street credentials[2].
How you should couch it: I have a strong commitment to personal space, and am a highly motivated self starter (with a strong appreciation for the importance of reputation).
Passive Depressive #157
July 15, 2008
So you want to be an A.J.?
July 13, 2008
Passive Depressive #156
July 10, 2008
Fairwell to the Chud cave
July 8, 2008
I moved again. This will be my 14th home in the past ten years. There are murderous drifters that maintain a more static address. Mind, every house has been within an eight block radius: more pacing, I suppose, than wandering proper. I’m not sure if it’s boredom with status quo that drives me, or just a delayed awareness of a poor initial choice…repeatedly. Read the rest of this entry »
Passive Depressive #155
July 8, 2008
Passive Depressive #154
July 3, 2008
Passive Depressive #153
July 1, 2008
Beats Entropy: Inappropriate Comment scale.
June 25, 2008
While talking to my associates over tacos, I accidentally mixed my metaphors[1] and declared “I feel as unwanted as a Black Step Child”. While funny, the hostile glares it garnered from our fellow dinners suggested it may have been a tad inappropriate. The next day at work, while reading this article, about a 7′3 sex offender, I commented “wow, I bet that guy could molest 3 kids at once”. I was not endorsing the morality of his vile deed, I was merely marvelling over the efficiency with which he could execute them[2]. My boss suggested this was less than appropriate workplace commentary.
In both cases my intentions were pure, but my judgement was flawed. If only there had been some means of weighing the potential negative impact of a given statement; some standards to measure against. Then I thought “hey… I have supercomputer capable of ranking subjective things in a absolute manner[3], why don’t I lay it down for my childrens”.
So here ya go: The Beats Entropy: Inappropriate Comment scale.
Keep in mind these statements are not intentionally malicious, rather they are progressively ill considered.
For the Geeks: NSFW
June 23, 2008
A friend and fellow geek passed this along to me and I had to share it with the rest of you, it begins a bit slow, but rest assured it is well worth the watch.
What follows is a brilliant short, dramatizing the adventures of small group playing Dungeons and Dragons, reunited after some time…
I would like to dedicate this mildly offensive, crass, and particularly base video post to the memory of George Carlin - who fucking rocked.
Passive Depressive
June 17, 2008
I’m powerless
June 14, 2008
Not before the eyes of an unknowable god; we have an understanding. Rather, Ottawa Hydro shut off my electricity. There were vauge claims made towards unpaid bills, hurtful words were exchanged, night descended. The nonpayment was the result of my limited conception of time, and lacking a key to my mailbox, as opposed to some financial insolvency.
My usual reminder to pay the bill comes in form of red pamphlet, hammered into my door with a railroad spike, to the effect of: “Pay yo’ bill cracka…we will cut you”. I then pay my bill. On this particular occasion they cut straight to the end game and stoneaged me without warning…a direct violation of our unspoken covenant. In protest I ate cereal, alone, in the dark…then lay down on what I hope was my bed.
Letter Day, 014: Vampyrrhic victory
June 12, 2008
I know been gone baby, but I’ve been in your hearts (and in some cases homes) all the while. I Ain’t got time for excuses, and I’m running low on ink, so let’s get down to business.
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Where the hell have you been? What are you doing? Why haven’t you posted? Do you not feel some responsibility to your readers?
About a half dozen people
The Internets
In Order: Round about’s, not a whole lot, creative back pressure, a little.
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I am an aspiring writer. How do you keep your edge?
Justin Martin
You break off little pieces down the line until the sides are almost touching.
