Beats Entropy: Pettiness Scale
February 19, 2008
Not a lot of people know this: I am currently serving five years probation for trapping three minstrels in a well. They weren’t great minstrels, and it was pretty big well, but such conduct is frowned upon in the nations capital. The exact charges levied were “engaging in thirsty deeds of anger” and “contralute’nal conduct”. The whole thing was a goddamn frame up[1], but my third rate Albanian lawyer sold me out for a roll of toilet paper and signed picture of Winnie Mandela.
I was hoping for leniency, but apparently my assertion that it was a momentary act of passion[2] was undermined by me having commissioned three blacksmiths to make huge farthings I could throw down onto them[3]. They (the courts) even disregarded my sweet “Minstrel cycle” defense[4].
As part of my rehabilitation I’m suppose to produce written proof that I am developing proper awareness of inappropriate behavior, and a increased ability to make value judgments. So I figure doing a objecting ranking of petty acts should qualify on both counts.
Thus I give you: The Beats Entropy Pettiness Scale.
