Passive Depressive #162
July 31, 2008
The shape of a life
July 30, 2008
A week’s wandered by since my sudden change in employment status. Strange days my friends: strange days that glom and stretch together in an unpredictable fashion. I haven’t had a week off in five years. My brain doesn’t know how to process this much unbroken time. I feel like some hard case corporate recidivist given parole: after eight years of sharpening spoons and fighting off boardroom buggery I don’t know how to live on the outside. I keep trying to exchange cigarettes for extra prescription benefits.
Passive Depressive #161
July 29, 2008
Letter Day Omega: Tales from a future hobo
July 28, 2008
It’s been a long week. No intro today. Lets get down to business.
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What would the moral implications of eating a “My Little Pony” be? Assuming they were real. Is it worse than eating a Dolphin? Than punching a Unicorn in the face? Making love to a Teddy Ruxpin doll you’d implanted with a recording begging you to stop?
Davos in Chicago
That’s a tough question, Davos. It asks what obligation do we have to other species? How much weight, if any, sentience/intelligence plays in that obligation? And why Teddy would dress like that if he didn’t want us to take a voyage on his magical airship?
I’m going to need to bust out a mini assessment scale to provide some clarity on this issue.
Passive Depressive #160
July 24, 2008
A parting of ways
July 23, 2008
Like all break ups, I expected it…but I was off on the timing. My surreally brief decade [1 ] of corporate employment ended in quiet conversation, Tuesday morning. It was a cool, form letter, discussion on their part. A bemused and grinning one on mine. They weren’t allowed to discuss their motivation, beyond informing me, repeatedly, it was a “business decision”. That’s akin to answering “Why are you hitting me?” with “My arms make the bat go down”: accurate, but willfully obtuse.
Passive Depressive #159
July 22, 2008
Passive Depressive #158
July 17, 2008
Ask BE: What should I say in a job interview?
July 16, 2008
The prestige of having been employed in the same entry level job for seven years (without promotion) has lead many of our readers to seek my advice in career matters[1]. Traditionally, I answer via private correspondence (mostly with biting personal commentary and ugly sexual innuendo), but a recent wave of joblessness among my cohort has convinced to disseminate my wisdom in a more public fashion.
As my expertise is largely rooted in matters rhetorical, I will approach the topic as such. My time in the business world has taught me exactly one thing: context in more important than content. Being able to frame information in a self-constructive fashion is the entirety of the battle; master the spin, and you win.
Thus I give you Ask BE: What should I say in a job interview
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The Statement: I’m not afraid to cut a nigga if he gets too close!
While this assertion could potentially establish your stret cred, your interviewer is unlikely to draw any positive inference from it. Additionally: if the interviewer does haphazardly wander too close…you will need to cut him, or risk losing any previously accrued street credentials[2].
How you should couch it: I have a strong commitment to personal space, and am a highly motivated self starter (with a strong appreciation for the importance of reputation).
Passive Depressive #157
July 15, 2008
So you want to be an A.J.?
July 13, 2008
Passive Depressive #156
July 10, 2008
Fairwell to the Chud cave
July 8, 2008
I moved again. This will be my 14th home in the past ten years. There are murderous drifters that maintain a more static address. Mind, every house has been within an eight block radius: more pacing, I suppose, than wandering proper. I’m not sure if it’s boredom with status quo that drives me, or just a delayed awareness of a poor initial choice…repeatedly. Read the rest of this entry »
