Goddamn Bees

July 28, 2006

I was awoken, today, by the sound of a thousand bees pounding at my door. I ignored it for as long as I could… but my cat brought back reports of a surprising sturdy siege engine being constructed of wax and pizza flyers. Out of respect for their industrious nature, and delicious honey, I put on pants and answered the door.

After some initial confusion, I was able to discern that three of their swarm were claiming that I owed them a sum of money. Now I don’t know where they got their information, but I Don’t borrow outside my kingdom; and even if I did, it sure as hell wouldn’t be from some shylock trio of Apis mellifera that have to roll a thousand deep before they come calling. Anyways, I tried to tell them to go to hell but my bee dancing skills are suspect at best, and while “bee hairy” my flat Irish ass is woefully inexpressive, so my directions proved imprecise.

So long story short, they beat the hell out me and stole upwards of 27.50$ from my beloved change jar. I don’t care so much about the money, as I do the violation and inherent unfairness of the whole thing. I am no saint, certainly, but I did not borrow, or take,or enter into any sort of financial transaction with those bees; nothing that would have warranted their brutal intrusion. I thought about calling the police, but decided just to accept this in the short term as my karmic due, and sort those bees out proper when the odds are a little more in my favor.

A.J. Valliant

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2 Responses to “Goddamn Bees”


  1. […] The thing is it was so boring my brain rebelled and churned out a bizarre accounting of how these Bee’s were hassling me for no reason. From there I stumbled around stylistically for a while: alternating between short burst of […]


  2. […] –          Bees […]


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