Badassed Bitches

August 6, 2006

 I have an abundance of badass bitches in my life. The kind of the girls that would jump a flaming horse[1], over a speeding train, in the heart of darkest Turkmenistan, before they would buy a Louis Vitton purse. Ninjas, pirates, B-girls, and Germasians; every archtype and joyous delusion is represented in force. Real character types that would do you a solid one day then help you fight off a tree fort invasion the next.

 Don’t get the wrong idea, these are not a pack of slump shouldered roller derbiests either. For all there femchismo, they still mange a degree of grace, sophistication, and sensuality, that has a chain of puppyish admirers following them about. What makes them so special is their refusal to buy into femininity, or masculinity, instead consciously constructing an expression of humanity that is reflective of their heart alone. At some point each of them discovered that if you fail to contest each part of yourself, and actively seek out an identity, then you will just be a collection of other people’s bias and perceptions.

 From the start my life has been shaped by extraordinary women. A single mother with three children by age twenty, who taught me the value of relationships over all else, and who bore her situation with such strength and dignity that I couldn’t imagined how hard it must have been until many years later. The sisters that hounded and tormented me into respecting my self, and filled me with a intense protectiveness for lady types. The first love [2] who suffered through the absurdly arrogant and self absorbed twenty year old version of myself, and still managed to teach me that love is about connection not possession. And of course the aforementioned badassed bitches that I am currently blessed with, who reinforced the notion that no trait belongs to either gender, and to pretend otherwise is to lose a part of yourself.

[1] These ladies are actually all dedicated animal lovers and as such would be greatly saddened by forcing a horse to jump over a train, let alone setting fire to one. For the purposes of the above claim assume the horse in question was the vilest of his kind, an unrepentant child killer and Panda Raper, who set fire to, then rode around. other around larger horses in order to get his sick thrills. As such this would be his just punishment and not a act of thoughtless cruelty on the ladies part.

[2] Also quite badassed

AJ Valliant

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14 Responses to “Badassed Bitches”

  1. she-wolf Says:

    aj that was amazing. i’d like to let you know that all the badass girls not only appreciate, but NEED the wise, badass males, such as yourself, who represent the small doses of sanity peppered in an oversaturated pro-skank/incompetancy/self-hate media circus.

    otherwise we’d all be spinster cat ladies.

    oh wait.

  2. John Gap Says:

    How ya gonna capitalize Panda Raper but not child killer?
    Got something against child killers?
    Jerk.

  3. frambojan Says:

    Child killing is just not that impressive; they’re pretty weak and guileless. Hell, I killed two kids putting my pants this morning; you don’t see me asking for title. In comparison you need a very specific skill set, and a world of motivation, to put the hate loving on a 250lbs, clawed and fanged, mass of Asiatic bear.


  4. […] Not intended to offend our Badassed Bitches. I just like the song. […]

  5. untao Says:

    …actually, I missed the 20 year old AJ by a year or two, I think….

  6. nessaroo Says:

    I feel warm inside…and no, *I* was not raped by the panda.


  7. 20 year old AJ lasted like five years.


  8. […] Taken by icecreamgangsign, one of our Badass Bitches. I wear red pumps when I do the laundry too. […]


  9. […] described in the August 2006 Beats Entropy post of the same name, bad ass bitches are the elite of their gender (born, converted or other-identified). They are as […]


  10. Don’t see why you can’t jump a horse and buy Louis Vuitton. Nothing wrong with having a little cake and carrying it, too.

    Interesting post. I agree on most points.


  11. I suppose that’s was me displaying my mild prejudice against conspicuous consumption. I equate the need to by over priced things of questionable utility as symptomatic of insecurity, or shallow status seeking through material gain.

    Girls that buy tiny purses at a cost of thousands bring to mind men that buy expensive cars to compensate for…other deficiencies. I realize this is an unfair generalization, but there it is.


  12. I can see that. But I find items such as purses and shoes last longer when they are of higher quality. For example, why not invest in a few good items [that happen] to cost a pretty penny that will last for a lifetime, over buying several times a year something that will not really last? Just my take.

    Other items, such as jeans, shirts, etc…can be skimped on. But when it comes to accessories such as the aforementioned, it all boils down to weakness, I suppose, no matter how good the argument.

  13. nhajong Says:

    hi there just add my friendster account mhajong_25@yahoo.com or even txt me at 09156733767


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