August 29, 2006
Esmeralda is gone wandering the back roads with her pirate chum for the better part of this week. I don’t begrudge he the adventure, she is a lovely girl but prone to grocery store robot chopping when cooped up for too long, yet her absence has had unexpected consequences. I was fine for the first couple days, but have since developed acute and chronic insomnia. It’s seems her tiny warm bottom possesses previously undiagnosed narcoleptic properties that I have become attenuated to. When denied exposure to said tiny bottom for prolonged periods I become trapped in my waking incarnation.
The first forty hours were a little strained. I don’t have the keenest grasp of reality to begin with so the walls thin pretty quickly when given a chance. The tricky part is negotiating that sketchy, uncertain, semi delusional period until you can get into a nice comfy psychotic fugue. I don’t mind my grip slipping, but I don’t need some rational afterglow telling me I can’t lift that bus, because I’m telling you right now I can. So to avoid any perceptual dissonance I played house hermit for a few nights then hit the streets once I had a nice crazy on.
In the note book I originally wrote this on, which before today I haven’t touched in two years, I found a to do list abandoned mid-word halfway through the third item. Here is the list
-Search for couch
-Read drivers handbook and take test
– Buy N
Now I never got the couch, and I certainly didn’t take the test, but I can live with structured failure. What’s tripping me out is how unambitious, and blind to irony, do you have to be to lose motivation mid stream and not even finish the word you were writing , on a To do list. What the hell did I want to buy that started with “N”? I’m not a real big list maker to start with so it must have been fairly important. New Clothes? Name tags?
What if it this purchase would have righted my path and turned me into a productive citizens? Maybe it was a deeply engrained predilection to a bohemian lifestlye that compelled me to disrupt a potentionaly life changing moment. Nunchucks?
It’s look like there is the start of a curve after the “N”. N curve; was I trying to do calculus and stopped when I realized I can’t even do long division. Fucking remainder. Jesus this is bugging me.
Goddamn you past AJ, are you just fucking with me. Could I, in some twisted prescient jackass move, have left it unfinished to jerk my future self around? Was I that petty? I’m that petty now, but I recall being less petty when I younger. I’m over thinking this, back to story in progress.
…………………………………………… You know what, this aside is actually a lot more entertaining to me than what I had originally planned to write. Maybe I’ve stirred up some dormant slacker tendencies but I think I’m going to just summarize the rest of the story for you. It’s was mostly a lie anyways, save the insomnia and missing Kathleen..uh Esmeralda, bit. And the part about me being crazy. I’m pretty socially adept so it’s take a while to see it but I really am a very different cat when you get right down to it. Oh yeah the summary
-I decided to the wander streets alone
-Joined up with a gang of street urchins, that I perceive as land based sea urchins, and began hassling old people.
– I think I was going to try to lift a bus at some point with a anthropomorphic phone booth heckling me.
-Probably some talking animals wandering around.
-I don’t even remember how it ended, I likely would have just traile