Redulak and the Modular Foursome: the Lost Episode

September 2, 2006

(see Cartoons that confuse and anger me- Part one of a five part expose’ for the discussion that inspired this retrospective)

In the summer of 1987 a critically acclaimed, if poorly rated, cartoon series went on a permanent hiatus. There were rumours that the producers were retooling the series to appeal to an edgier demographic, yet no new materials ever saw the light of day. Mysteriously, soon after the rumoured retooling, all previous episode were pulled from the air. The master tapes were destroyed, and the few items of merchandising recalled. Only a bit of teaser promo text surfaced to indicate the new direction they were taking

Redulak and the Modular foursome: EXTREMULATION

Truth raw and dirty, Saturday morning 8:30

The few hardcore fans of the series, myself included, were outraged at this attempt to whitewash the existence of a magnificent series. After days of investigation, and the aid of a few inside sources, I have manged to obtain a incomplete copy of the script, something previously not even rumored to exist.

note: Due to the missing pages there are gaps in the narrative, I can only hope in time more is recovered. The images used are artistic liberties taken by the author, as the series was cancelled before any visuals were rendered.

Redulak and the Modular Foursome: Tupper Goes Off!

Scene opens in the heart of Transfiso mountain command center. Dr Branson is tinkering around with the Super computer (Redulak 1) responsible for controlling the four Redulak Combinators.

*Alarm is blaring indicating a gigantor threat in the area*

Dr. Branson: We need to move fast “REDULAK EXTREMULATE”

*nothing happens*

Dr. Branson: I said EXTREMULATE you jumped up Dago stopwatch.

Redulak 1: I’m sorry doctor Branson, the power amulet is missing, I cannot transform the combinators.

Dr. Branson: You son of a whorish calculator; look likes someone switched my omniputer with a Sassmaster 6000. Maybe if I put out a lit cigarette out on the motherboard it will help things along?

Redulak 1: Please Dr. Branson, not in front of my son. Oh why did I bring my son to work today.

*Kyle interrupts*

Kyle(on transceiver): It’s Tupper Dr. Branson, he’s gotten ahold of the Power Amulet.

*Laughing cheerfully*

Dr. Branson: Why that extra chromosomed little scamp. We best be after him before gets into some mischief.

Kyle: I’ll call the others and power up the sky car.

Having been tricked out of their combinators, by the animal cunning of Tupper, the heroes arrive in their backup robot “Crimson Starfighter Excelante” . Kyle, Beth, and Mooch look chagrined but set upon stopping Tupper’s rampage.

Kyle: I can’t believe Tupper tricked me out of the keys to our Combinators; I have a doctorate in logic from Cambridge and a wealth of street smarts from my time spent undercover in a hip hop crew.

Beth: Maybe if Mooch hadn’t insisted on having a mouthwash drinking contest with those hobos we would have gotten to the warehouse in time to stop him.

Mooch: You’re just bitter since you can’t hold your Scope. Next time I’ll try and scare us up a pretentious whoring contest so you have a shot at winning.

Kyle: Guys we don’t have time for this. Tupper is going to destroy that elementary school if we don’t stop him!

Tupper: I can do it all bah mah self. You thaw I coudn’t dry the mashin bah I can.

Beth: Tupper, don’t you kill those children!

Tupper: Dey say I too dum ta learn, bah naw I teah dem a lessin.Dey put me in da shor bus, I put dem in da fla skoo

Kyle: Dr. Branson, you have stop him!

Dr Branson(on transceiver): No he’s right, those little bastards laughed at him like they used to laugh at me. Stomp them Tupper, stomp them until they love me.

(Tupper unleashes a lifetime of shame and fury against the humble structure, decimating it past all hope of survivors)

Redulak 1(voice choked with electronic agony): Turn me off Dr. Branson, I can feel the babies dying.

Dr. Branson: What’s that you say? Turn your empathic matrix up by a factor of five? Ok, seems like a bad idea but if that’s what you want.

Redulak 1: No! you are twisting my words, Dr. Branson. Ahhhhhh, their tears burn like hammers.

Beth: Oh Tupper, how could you kill those hundreds of children? Though I love you like a wholly abled brother you must be brought to account for your crimes.

Kyle: Time to take this stone pony down team.


Creepy guy in Corner: All is going according to plans. Dance modular foursome, dance like the puppets you are.

(The Robot, along with half the city, has been destroyed in an epic battle with Tupper. The team has been forced to infiltrate the Redulak Power Robot on foot)

 Beth: We should be able to navigate the access corridors to the main cockpit. Kyle, I need you to disable the security couplers and watch out for the automated defences. Mooch, tune your omniwave transmitter to maximum frequency so we can jam Tupper’s resonance with the power amulet.

Kyle and Mooch: Were on it!

Mooch (whispering): What say we give her the double wishbone for old times sake? We haven’t run a train on anyone in years.

Kyle: For-gods sake’s Mooch were are in the middle of mission, and that’s my wife… and your half sister!

Mooch: So no go then?

Kyle: No, i’m just saying we have to be quick.

(Beth glares at both)

Beth: Keep dreaming boys, we have work to do.

(With the power amulet back in their hands, and the Redulak armor safely stored away, the team go their separate ways, save Mooch and Tupper)

Mooch: I hope you’re happy Tupper, over a million people died today because you had to prove what a hot shot you are.

Tupper: I’m sah we.

Dr. Branson (on transceiver): Don’t be so hard on him Mooch. We all make mistakes and it’s hard when you don’t fit in. The important thing is we all learned that you don’t need to go on killing spree to get respect, you just need to be yourself.

Mooch: Hey Dr. Branson?

Dr Branson: Yes mooch.

Mooch: Redulak sure looks a lot like Voltron, doesn’t he?

Dr. Branson (On transceiver): Why don’t you shut your trash mouth, fatty!

Tupper: Dat guy shoour is flippy.

(all laugh, fade out)

So there it is, the last scraps of a once great cartoon enterprise. While I agree they certainly made some questionable artistic choices, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t have been corrected with some sort of multiple episode character shift or dream sequence. Ah well, beauty is transient, and all things have their time in the sun. Maybe some day a bootleg DVD will hit the streets.

Cartoons that Confused and Angered Me


3 Responses to “Redulak and the Modular Foursome: the Lost Episode”

  1. Tony s. Says:

    Fuck man, I loved this show.
    I used to watch in the teachers lunch every lunch hour in grade five.
    Oh Miss Hannigan, the pleasures you taught me.

  2. “Please Dr. Branson, not in front of my son. Oh why did I bring my son to work today.”

    I can’t totally explain but the idea of supercomputer bring his son to work makes me laugh everytime I read it. I just picture a tiny computer with a lunch box cowering behind Redulak 1.

  3. AJ Valliant Says:

    In retrospect I kind of like this.

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