Top 8 (more) mistakes I have recently made

October 24, 2006

8. There is a thin line between being right, and being an arrogant bastard. Doing the “fuck you, I was right and you were wrong” dance, despite one’s best intentions, is more often associated with the latter.

7. Sexual touching is rarely taken as flattery, this is especially true when breasts or groins are grabbed while simultaneously making ‘honk honk’ noises.

6. Not everyone plays violent video games, nor is everyone familiar with violent video game “speak.” As such, replying to the question “what did you do last night” with the response “I got a record number of kills with my heavy machine gun, which is pretty impressive because I’m more of a headshot with the sniper rifle kind of guy” may lead to some misunderstandings.

5. Putting 25 mints in your mouth at once is rarely a good idea. Putting 25 caffeinated mints in your mouth at the same time is really really really not a good idea.


4. It can be challenging to recover from accidentally blurting out “what are you retarded or something?” during one of your supervisors presentations. Even the old stand by “Oh, I was just joshing ya” does not always work.

3. In the culture of the public service, “wuz up my niggas” is not considered an appropriate or cordial greeting.

2. Somewhat counter intuitively, stopping on a busy staircase to take a call on a cell phone or check email on a Blackberry does not, legally speaking, constitute consent to be pushed down said staircase and trampled.

1. Regardless of how far up his or her own ass a manager’s head may be, goggles and a roll of toilet paper are not, generally speaking, acceptable replacements in lieu of poorly conceived deliverables.

Previously: Top 8 mistakes I’ve recently made

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One Response to “Top 8 (more) mistakes I have recently made”

  1. rex Says:

    7. Sexual touching is rarely taken as flattery, this is especially true when breasts or groins are grabbed while simultaneously making ‘honk honk’ noises.

    well, shit. there goes all my dating strategies.


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