January 25, 2007

Today I have balls so blue the Pacific would weep for their cerulean majesty. The baboon that works in the kitchen stopped by my desk and was like “Nigga, I’ve been a Baboon all my life…and your balls are so blue they’re freaking me out.” And he was right to fear them.

I’m walking like a wounded cowboy, and seriously considering violating the sanctity of the handicap washroom. I fear, however, the pressure has built up to such an extent that the negative suction generated by a sudden release would turn me inside out; leaving my inverted corpse on the soiled tiled floor as proof of  shame.  Such is my burden.


11 Responses to “Damn”

  1. My life is an open book…full of pornographic wildlife pictures and antique carousels.

  2. engtech Says:

    I want to write “me too”, but I’m afraid of what that would imply.

  3. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    It’s like how you can’t cruise past a traffic accident without peering around for dismembered bits, even though you really don’t want to see any such thing…I wan’t to know the details, but then I really really really emphatically do not.

    Mama never told me life would be so complicated.

  4. engtech Says:

    I want to know how many “wrong” pictures he had to surf across before he found the “right” one for this post.

  5. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    He probably had that one saved to his “favourites”

  6. I once did it in the washroom. Go ahead, nobody will know, your chances of being caught on a hidden web cam are lower than mine.

  7. I do wish you would tell us why or I guess this post is so old that it’s obsolete.

  8. I mistimed when I had to start work while hanging out with my girlfriend. Wound having to leave at a inopportune time and paid the price for it.

  9. engtech Says:

    Y’know, you could have just been late for work.

  10. Emile Says:

    This is a hidden, gem?

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