“Oh hey Kenji! Long time no see…

March 7, 2007

…So what have you been up to?”

“I don’t know, nothing and everything all at once?”

I need to come up with a better way to tackle this area of smalltalk. It tires me. Maybe I should simply ignore the question and go straight to rhetoric or tomfoolery. And I hate resorting to any of the typical subjects like work, school, the weather and/or getting drunk.

Of course, it also makes me wonder if I’ve actually done anything lately. Indeed, I’ve been up to a whole shitload of things: Designing a guidebook for the UN HIV-AIDS program, painting portraits, learning to juggle, getting better at capoeira (and my handstands!), putting together an online arts magazine, contributing to shows and last but not least, Passive Depressive. Hey- that’s a lot of things to “have been up to”! But you know… sometimes I simply feel too mentally tired to talk about any of these, or they slip my mind.

Maybe it’s ’cause I can find them taxing to talk about. It’s sort of like I’m promoting or giving a rehearsed speech rather than interacting. Talking about things that I’m already regularly consumed with on a daily basis can be rather boring for me. I know that some people love talking about the happenings in their lives but I often would rather just joke around. Am I a bit adolescent in that regard?

Anyway, I need to find a better way. It’s not that I’m socially inept (sometimes the opposite in fact) but I no longer want to feel so tired after socializing this way. And the solution also shouldn’t involve drugs or nudity. Well, not all the time.

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15 Responses to ““Oh hey Kenji! Long time no see…”


  1. My actual solution to being asked generic questions:

    Lie extravagantly, randomly, and wholly without remorse. What the person is really seeking is some baseline level of connection, so why not make the content something can both enjoy.

    I once tried to recount my day at work to Esmeralda and it bored us so bad it killed our libidos, and mildly damaged my standing in both our eyes. I care dearly for the people in my life; I care much less about a rote recounting of their schedule.

    We get so little time to interact with each why not synthesize new ideas and experiences, instead of trading chewed up mouthfuls of things we never cared about in the first place.

  2. engtech Says:

    My solution is not to talk.

  3. sungame Says:

    Anyway, I generally find practicing capoeira a lot more rewarding than talking about it.This goes for a lot of other things as well. Come to think of it, the less I enjoy something, the more I enjoy talking about it. I guess this makes me the worst small talker ever…Thank you for helping me realize this, I guess.

  4. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    I’m the same way. Plus, you know nobody really cares “what you’ve been up to” they’re pretending to be polite and hoping you’ll ask them the same question because they have something they want to brag about.

    Try catching them off guard and scaring them away. Some suggestions for answers.

    “Slaughtering stray cats and making purses out of their hides”

    “Installing hidden cameras in the toilets of the neighbourhood tim hortons”

    “Experimenting with the Kama Sutra for one”

    “Concocting gourmet recipes for human remains and marketing them as funeral alternatives. Want to come over for dinner?”

  5. engtech Says:

    Kenji experiments with the kama sutra for one like it’s nobodies’ business.

  6. w0rmwood Says:

    “Slaughtering stray cats and making purses out of their hides”

    “Installing hidden cameras in the toilets of the neighbourhood tim hortons”

    “Experimenting with the Kama Sutra for one”

    “Concocting gourmet recipes for human remains and marketing them as funeral alternatives. Want to come over for dinner?”

    anybody else get the feeling that BFNT would fit right into our immediate social circle?

    =)

  7. thekenji Says:

    Had me at “slaughtering”.

  8. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    Aw, I’m ever so flattered…but can’t help but wondering if your immediate social circle is a place I’d want to fit into:P


  9. “Aw, I’m ever so flattered…but can’t help but wondering if your immediate social circle is a place I’d want to fit into:P”

    Trust me, we have the “Charisma”, everyone wants to be our friend. I realize that comes across boastful in type… but it is what it is.

  10. w0rmwood Says:

    It should also be noted that having ‘the Charisma’
    is to being Charismatic, as having ‘the Ugly’, is to just being ugly.

    =)

  11. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    See, how could one possibly live up to the standards you’ve set?


  12. No one ever does. Even when we’re together was are filled with crippling loneliness and dissapointment.

  13. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    Ahhh, now I see. You’re looking for someone to fill in the gaps and rescue you all from the miserable gnaw of inadequacy. Nice try lads. Nice try. You have to get up pretty damn early to pull a fast one on BFat.

  14. monkey Says:

    *tries to kick the habit of stalking the said social circle and attempts to make a meaningful contribution to the discussion*

    *gives up in disgust and goes back to stalking*

  15. pardenarden Says:

    Ive been practicing this not talking. Ima talker and always will be but silence is a powerful thing. I TRY not to talk when I cant finish a convo…
    sometimes i enjoy a good small talk banter but i know what youre saying about the tiredness…i dont think its the small talk necessarily it the person youre forced too interact with…

    You dont necessarily need to go to the lengths of “slaughtering” and such…(though the reaction is usually priceless and then its awkward)

    i find one word answers usually can slip though the BS and if the person really wants to talk to you they will come up with a more intersesting question than “What you been up to?”


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