Haiku Contest: Mark II

June 6, 2007


There was a time, in the primordial days of Beats Entropy…that I called upon the readership to battle us. In Haiku. Many live were lost, yet I call upon you again join the fray.  The winner (as judged by the Arbitron 6500) will receive a fabulous mystery prize.

Rules of engagement: like so (points downwards)

Traditional (5-7-5)

Write a Haiku jerk
Would you have me look a fool
I will destroy you

Alternately you can write a Beats Entropy-style Haiku:

Three verses of 7-5-7 that tell a loose story. Punctuation optional.

Who has stolen my old life?
I commend you sir.
Were you not my dead brother!


Let us ride this giant bee.
She thinks us her queen.
Tomorrow there shall be war.


The worker grows suspicious.
Stings us twenty times!
The war is surely lost now.


35 Responses to “Haiku Contest: Mark II”

  1. Don’t hire lazy unicorns!
    They are not like us.
    Unfit for the mundane world.

    Magic horse can’t get no job.
    who gonna feed his foal?
    Majesty don’t pay the rent.
    Filly sees it on the news.
    Liquor store held up!
    Ain’t but one Unicorn left.

  2. Sarah Allura Says:

    Suckling the sky cow
    thousand year dance without pause
    my blood is butter

  3. David Kehoe Says:

    Your dry tears unwept
    Heart bursting by reasons decree
    Solipsistic end

  4. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    High, I queue for you
    intent temper’d by false heart
    the poem’s line too long

  5. Jennifer L Says:

    What’s insanity?
    To be without one’s own books?
    Not gonna happen

  6. HitTheRhodes Says:

    Haiku’s are tough, man.
    Why can’t this be easier?
    Whatever, AJ.

  7. Damn you Aarron Sanchez, put your back into it.

    I did find this classic though/

    “Once I fought a bear
    Except he was a hobo
    I beat him forever”

  8. w0rmwood Says:

    My shoes cause me pain.
    Ok, that’s a dirty lie.
    I simply can’t dance.

  9. HitTheRhodes Says:

    I like this one too:

    Little chocolate dog.
    Why do you eat your own poop.
    That is disgusting.

  10. HitTheRhodes Says:

    AJ lists cartoons…
    Five part series? Try just three.
    Redulak is born.

  11. max Says:

    oh like i know how
    to write a haiku verse i
    am lost again damn

  12. Raul Pimento Says:

    No masturbation,
    there’s no time for any self love!
    Man! Work is no fun!

  13. .bb. Says:

    The girl sees Ramon.
    What’s that tingling sensation,
    between my two legs?

  14. thekenji Says:

    Papaya juice ingested
    My courage swelling
    To lose my virginity
    Is that fruit juice? Asks the girl
    I proudly proclaim,
    Yes!! Now- who’s your papaya?
    Rejection is cruel and swift
    High school sucked, but this…
    Is plain humiliating

  15. Baredfeethandteeth Says:

    Anyang Haseyo
    it fit right, dont knock it scum
    YOU try Korean

  16. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    oooh…i’m anonymous ^ sweet! I mean…nice one………………………….*shifty eyes* fuck.

  17. my cow dies daily
    blissfully, he moos in vain
    to quench my mad thirst

  18. max Says:

    is cow a metaphor for
    something not talked of?
    once again confused

  19. John Gap Says:

    It will burst from me
    but for now I hold it in.
    This passion is mine

  20. w0rmwood Says:

    Gap’s passion is his
    Oh god no, it burst from him
    I think she is now quite blind

  21. John Gap Says:

    My cup is empty
    Surely it soon will be full;
    these things happen often.

  22. John Gap Says:

    Crap, that’s 6 in the final line. Disqualified!

  23. w0rmwood Says:

    these things happen *too* often

  24. w0rmwood Says:

    damned this dislexia
    my last thought was wrong

  25. @max:

    It’s only a metaphor
    for my bovine lust.
    Fear my mad symbology!

  26. I punched a clown
    So many in tiny car
    Huge shoes assail me

  27. John Gap Says:

    My anaconda
    don’t want none unless it’s got…
    buns, Hun. Baby got back.

  28. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    I laughed at that rhyme
    what the fuck is wrong with me
    I need to get out

  29. Sour cream, straight up

    Raw, uncut… my freebase dream

    No nothin’, just curdle

  30. thekenji Says:

    Wasn’t this a contest?

    What happened to Arbitron?

    I demand closure

  31. Fair enough.
    The contest is now closed to new entry’s.
    I will now feed the information into the Arbirtion 6500 and await a winner selection.

  32. If freebasing sour cream for the sake of poetry doesn’t bring me greater status and monetary gain…

  33. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    Hi…witness the queen of the puns. I deserve the…erm…what are we after again?

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