Happening/ Ain’t happening
June 7, 2007
It’s a complicated world my friends; and the zeitgeist is as elusive as it’s spectral suffix would imply. Nobody wants to be lame…but without the benefit of some sort of ginned up supercomputer you can’t possibly keep track of the ebb and flow of what’s truly Hhappening. So I figured “I’ve got the Arbitron 6500, why don’t I do a solid for my childrens and lay down what is, and what is not …at this point and time”.
Try not to be smug about being so in “the know”…I’m trying to keep the Arbitron 6500 on the down low, if you get my meaning.
|“I’m so hungry my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut.”||“Your stomach will be correct in its assumption if you don’t stop with the cliche hyberbole.”|
|Stuffing two kids into a trench coat and presenting them as a very tall man in order to enter an area intended for adults (likely facilitated by use of fake moustache and stylish hat).||Stuffing four kids into the trunk of my car and teaching them the correct group formation to avoid injury from tumbling about when I hit the back roads (thus keeping their cross-border price high).|
|Sunny skies and the joyously extravagant victory party I was going to throw in Mudville.||Chris Phillips scoring on his OWN fucking goal!|
|Watching fat girls and midgets disgrace the art of music on American Idol.||The new season of “So you think you can Dance”.|
|Ground-breaking epic poem I graced from the heavens while chasing the dragon’s tail||A fairly serious heroin habit.|
|Ideological clash between fundamentalist Islam and the Great Satan America (Essentially sandstorms and dynamite).||Cold War V2.0., Baby. I see Russian oligarch financed, Mafia piloted battle Mechs clashing in the Rhineland with Gene master Trans-Aryan commandos.|
|A group funded international initiative to establish a base on the moon.||Washing out my tub so my bones stop hurting after I take a bath.|