Letter Day 47: An E-conomy of spite

June 11, 2007

 

One of the real underrated signs of a rough weekend is waking up with one inexplicably swollen eye. It’s as if half my brain witnessed something of such suspect viewabilty it’s refusing to raise the lid all the way in protest. I’m going to give it few hours to come around on it’s own before I start applying random solvents to try and shake it out of it’s funk. On to Letter Day!

———————————————————–

 Fuck religion. Fuck politics. Fuck a world defined by set roles and the archaic shame structures of old white men. We need to think without mind. Speak with our actions and commitment, which transcend the pedestrian limits of language. We exist purely, without the need for external consent/definition. I challenge you and I challenge your readers to cease being Sheeple and engage.

 Matty Freemind,

 Well, Matty…I think you’re making great strides on the thinking without mind front. Normally I’d be a tad more subtle about this, but anyone who uses a buzz world like Sheeple to put forth their call to Iconoclassicism lacks sufficient ironic capacity to pick up on sarcasm.

 Here’s the deal the deal: you didn’t actually say anything there. No argument was put forth. No existing supposition challenged. No terms defined. You seem to be blurrily attacking Western society, objective reality, and the nature of language…and your entire commentary was “it’s bad, let’s do something else.” This doesn’t even qualify as solipsistic begging of the question…it’s like some crow learned a few disconnected phrases, then flew into a symposium and started cawing.

 You need to calm down, pick up a book, and stop absorbing pseudo-philosophy from the meth addled front man of your junior high emocore-punk band.

————————————————————-

 I heard your mind is so powerful you can shoot a laser that could sear the faith off a dragon, is this true?

Whip Ring

 It’s half a truth, Whip. The reality is I have a sense of self worth so an inflamed it could reheat a cup of coffee…given favourable winds and a good nights sleep.

————————————————————–

Did you ever give your friends any obnoxious nicknames?

I used to call my little brother Dewlap, because he had big lips and made stupid noises when he drank stuff.

Detroit Pete

 I’m actually not much of Nickname guy when to come’s to my friends, Pete. If I decide to apply a slanderous sobriquet there is generally some genuine contempt underlying the act. For example:

 The Ho-larm clock

   A buddy of mine (from back in the day) had one of the most irritating and needy girlfriends walking the earth. If he ever had the audacity to leave her alone to hang out with us she would (without fail) call him at the two hour mark and squawk for him to come home. She was relentless: if he blew her off/told her he’d be busy for a while, she’d call every twenty minutes on the dot to shriek and wheedle some more. This was referred to as his “Ho-larm clock going off“.  A tad misogynistic I know…but funny.    

 Aside from that I’ve had lots of limited use random things I call folks (ie Stinkapotmous), but not to the extent it would qualify as a nickname.

ps.

I once (in a poetry workshop) called a dude Hans Christian Blanderson and he almost started to cry. I actually felt kind of bad…bullying poets isn’t exactly high sport.

—————————————————————————————-

You guys are time thieves that have destroyed my workplace productivity. I’ve been rooting through the archives and feel my sense of world and culture warping to an unacceptable degree. Give me back my Life! Give me back my hope and joy!

  Joe, Despairing in Georgia.

Sadly, Joe, your hope and joy have already been fed into the vast emotional furnace that powers Beats Entropy.  Actually this is good chance to provide a brief sampling of the pscho-emoconomy of blogdom, for the folks at home.

(Raw emotional good)  ——————->   (Converted to end product)

Someone speaks highly of my character –>   Beat cat guilt free for two hours

Positive review of prose—————–>   Can speak condescendingly to people on bus

Sincere seeming praise for poetry——->    Forget 7 minutes of childhood humiliation

Hope and/or Joy abandoned————->     The screams of children go quiet for a while

Added to blogroll/ mentioned in post –>    Be lazy at real job due to writely delusions

Dearly held belief dispelled by rhetoric—>    Three hour Saturday erection                    

Person admits they read site daily—->  Walk about shirtless and oiled  up for no reason

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20 Responses to “Letter Day 47: An E-conomy of spite”

  1. Sarah Allura Says:

    “This was referred to as his “Ho-larm clock going off“

    Did you ever think that maybe she was just insecure, and was seeking validation? He actions warrant sympathy, not childish contempt.


  2. “Did you ever think that maybe she was just insecure, and was seeking validation?”

    I’m certain she was insecure, that doesn’t give her the right to suck all the joy and ease from the life of her boyfriend.

    “ He actions warrant sympathy, not childish contempt”

    You say To-mato, I say “bitch stop calling my phone every twenty minutes”.

  3. w0rmwood Says:

    “Her actions warrant sympathy, not childish contempt.”

    Personally, while i agree it is possible that this individual’s shortcomings were the result of insecurities – really one cannot ever know.

    The bottom line, for me, is that while one’s character flaws and emotional shortcomings (to the extent they illicit poor behaviors) are not always one’s fault, ultimately they remain one’s responsibility.

    I feel this is especially true in the context of a relationship.

    That said, I dont think that particular ‘nick name’ will be on the ‘happy end’ of the great scales of judgment that determine the fate of AJ’s eternal soul.

    On the other hand, if thats AJ’s eternal soul’s biggest problem, he’s probably doing just fine.

  4. Ben Profit- Lead signer of the Night Prophets Says:

    “You need to calm down, pick up a book, and stop absorbing pseudo-philosophy from the meth addled front man of your junior high emocore-punk band.”

    You don’t know me!
    Fuckin conformist.


  5. “One of the real underrated signs of a rough weekend is waking up with one inexplicably swollen eye.”

    I’ve always found waking up with just one sock on the be one of the key signs of bender gone wrong.


  6. WTF, AJ?!
    Sheeple is the most hyperb-a-licious word I’ve ever heard!
    How dare you not love Sheeple!
    I, now and forever, pre-actively revoke any marriage proposal I should ever drunkenly offer you. (won’t my husband be pleased!)
    Unless, of course, you are dressed as batman at the time.

    -the sheeple of everything


  7. That is is a pretty solid batman costume.
    Though, to be honest, I’m more of a Spiderman man.
    http://beatsentropy.com/2007/03/28/aj-valliant-arbitrarily-ranks-the-greatest-men-that-ever-lived-martyrs-part-3/

  8. thekenji Says:

    Hmmm… Is there a way to reverse the “raw emotional good —> end product” process?

    I want to beat a cat for two hours guilt-free and then expect someone to speak highly of my character.

  9. brahnamin Says:

    in what world is bullying poets not high sport?


  10. Patient #1 is probably one of the biggest beneficiaries of the white privledge he luke warmly protests. I dare this chump to prove otherwise.

    Patient #2 is soooo silly.

    Patient #3 needs to put in more time with the thinking cap before he bothers great minds with… actually, I love nicknames. My favorite is Puke Skyhooker.

    Patient #4 makes me sad. Sad that people write sarcastically pouty comments like his.

    BUT…

    The good news is that your responses were magnificent. Your vocabulary is stunning! Do you have one of those word of the day calenders? I needs me one of those, master.

    “…the vast emotional furnace”. I dig it. Let’s make one. And the best costume I’ve got is Travis Bickle aka Deniro in Taxi Driver. I also have a hard plastic Wolverine mask my neighbor got me at the drugstore for Hanukkah. He’d slice the heck outta the Webslinger and the Dark Knight. Wolverine, not my neighbor… although he does have two Spidey tatoos.

    Is this the longest comment ever? Feel free to post it as a blog under a fake name of your choosing.

    Shalom.


  11. “Do you have one of those word of the day calenders? I needs me one of those, master.”
    Nope…I just make them up to suit my nesscious demands.

  12. NotMike Says:

    Sadly, Kenji, you should realise that if the processes were reversible, they’d be written with a , and not just a ->.
    e.g.
    Offend A.J. in some way -> Wake up to flurry of face punches
    …and not…
    “Have the gall to wake up during flurry of face punches (—) Offend A.J. in some way”


  13. “Offend A.J. in some way -> Wake up to flurry of face punches
    …and not…
    “Have the gall to wake up during flurry of face punches (—)Offend A.J. in some way””
    It’s not so much a vicious cycle, as it is a cruel oscillation.

  14. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    So, I quoted this letter day twice to someone I’m pestering on MSN, and frequently pound on a friend named Kevin as a result of a previous LD…how does that fuel the BE beast?

    I have a feeling that admitting that has set back my own personal karmic metabolism…which is generally fed on the sulphur fumes of the emotional wreckage I leave in my wake.


  15. “how does that fuel the BE beast?”
    Like hot molten gratification poured into the eyes of a friendless orphan.

  16. thekenji Says:

    Hahaha “cruel oscillation”
    Up there with “Occam’s razor” as terms that sound both scientific and physically punishing.

  17. thekenji Says:

    “So, I quoted this letter day twice to someone I’m pestering on MSN, and frequently pound on a friend named Kevin as a result of a previous LD…how does that fuel the BE beast?”

    Someday we may have to make a PD to document your XO for BE’s LD… and CC via MSN anyone AWOL and FUBAR

  18. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    …this is why all of your friends leave you vomiting in the gutter Friday nights instead of making sure you get home safely >:/ (note the slanty frowny. we are not amused….and by ‘we’ I do me mean…and by ‘not amused’ I do mean very slightly entertained)

  19. Stiletto Says:

    Hot molten gratification…sounds kinky!

  20. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    especially the friendless orphan bit


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