September 18, 2007


I bought furniture last night. I’m not much for nesting, but my apartment was barren enough I felt like some junkie flophouse squatter. I picked a agreeable little couch (with two companionable footstools), functional table, and two black lamps. I went to IKEA, not out any particular allegiance, rather it’s the only furniture type store that has permeated my awareness to any degree.

It was this huge washed out space, bland and ergonomic, full of blankly overwhelmed people trying to construct their lives. It wasn’t oppressive, exactly, but there was this enervating domesticity that leached out from the prefrab kitchens and bedspreads…it was discomfiting. I chose my couch because it was small, scrappy, and seemed as put upon at being there as I was. The rest  fit a discrete need and was easy to find. I hope to finish the rest of my decorating with curb leavings, like any decent person.     

 When I paid, the cashier asked for my postal code. I don’t actually know my postal code, but even if I did it seemed an arbitrary and invasive request: they don’t need to know who I am, and where I live, to sell me a couch. It’s not like I’m going to go on some loafing spree and the police will need the buyer information to track me down.I was already kinda skeeved out that Ikea knew what kind of couch I had (as  they, perhaps, could use that knowledge to reverse engineer my life from afar). I stonewalled the prying cashier and returned home with my purchases.

Now I need to reconcile my neat little furnishings with my rather messy life.


8 Responses to “Domesticity”

  1. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    I always think Ikea is going to be a carefree romp through the showroom. It does have that potential with all the fun rooms scattered about like some tv-set graveyard, but it’s the crushing throngs of people that do me in every time. I just want to flee for my sanity.

    Maybe you should look for a small mom and pop op, or a second hand something or other…garage sales are fun too. Also, never underestimate the power of the catalogue.

  2. max Says:

    Wow, keep this up and you will be able to entertain respectable [and not so respectable] wimmins.

  3. Rodney Says:

    Are you feeling sorry for the poor A.J.’s empty apartment? Don’t be because it’s been filled with un-boring things from Ikea!!!

    Who got to you A.J, WHO GOT TO YOU?!?

  4. engtech Says:

    I do like how you managed to scratch the top of the table with the wrench while assembling it in order to give it that AJ ghetto vibe.

    I turn my back for one minute…

    Still, I like how it all turned out. I think we should hit up Walmart for those last two bean bag chairs for the guest.

    And I still think you should build elaborate climbing apparatus for those 20′ x 3′ ceiling spaces.

  5. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    By “elaborate climbing apparatus” he means sex swing, and he’s hoping you’ll let him help you take it for a test run.

  6. monkey Says:


    curb leavings are the shit. but i find i often think that my “wow, why would anyone throw THAT away” instinct is an immigrant mindset throwback.

  7. tres fight club, AJ. I love it.

  8. donna mom Says:

    new furniture….. I don’t believe it, may the next giant step be to call your mother.

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