Beautiful Failure

September 22, 2007

We offered up beauty with two broken hands; the gathered best slipped, trembled from stiff fingers. And every “I love you”, became “I cannot explain”, how far we’ve wandered, and where we have changed. Still we reached, as far as we could fail; in the hope something made it through. Some word or consolation, to show that we were there, that the less we became, the more we tried to care.


10 Responses to “Beautiful Failure”

  1. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    I think this is my favourite. I haven’t decided whether it’s about the beauty of trying despite failure, or accepting the beauty in failure itself, or something completely else. And then, is it relationship failure, life failure, failure to matter, failure to make one’s mark, or just that feeling of snowbally everything failure that sometimes takes hold?

    I’m doing this thing these days, where I’m trying to be compassionate with myself and see value in how things unfold, and appreciate what is, as it is, etc…ramble, yea, but I think that’s why I see this piece the way I do and like it so much.

    It’s triksy…we have all of this opportunity, of every kind, and we’re trained to be ambitious, in all sorts of ways whether we like it or nto, but it just leads to these inevitable inferiority complexes and the struggle to deal with them.

    *nods* and..stuff

    anyway, I like it.

  2. Thank you, Kayla.
    Were you real I would make you a sandwich, or something.

  3. Alice Says:

    That is so heartbroken and hopeful,like your surrendering to some lovely, painful truth. I can’t decide if it’s very sad, or very beautiful.

  4. Stiletto Says:

    Tragic and ironic.

  5. pmousse Says:

    “the less we became, the more we tried to care.”

    I think this really underlines the essential hope that still exists, the way people try to keep holding on, keep trying to make something of nothing. Very nice.

  6. sabretooth Says:

    very touching aj… :)

  7. Monkey Says:

    i like.

    i’m almost tempted to try and re-cut it so it all rhymes … mostly because the last two sentences do.

    but yeah, deep and touching. touching deep. word.

    i personally have a hard time with failure. in fact i think that is why i’ve been quite risk averse lately. hmmm …

  8. *Warning: rather dry artistic deconstruction ahead

    “i’m almost tempted to try and re-cut it so it all rhymes … mostly because the last two sentences do.”

    It’s actually setup

    Structured flat prose
    Structured flat prose

    (though the first b,d is more assonance than strict

    I wrote it in paragraph form so it flowed in a more conversational manner.

    If it was all rhyming couplets it would throw off the staggered cadence, and come across somewhat gimmicky less sincere/impactful.

  9. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    Also, from a symbolic standpoint, perfect couplets would contradict the content. The slighty uneven flow echos the stumbling of failure, but it’s lovely none the less, eh.

    …christ, I’m that chick at the front of the class with her bic incessantly waving back and forth above her head…and now I’m the blonde with the cellphone glued to her ear who makes everything about her, vicious cycle, this.

    And thanks for the sandwich related sentiment. you really know your way into a lady’s goodbooks.

  10. Monkey Says:

    ah … hmm … i retract my earlier statement / blame work-related haze for failing to check for structure

    also, touché on the use of structured prose – works much better as metaphor for failure than meticulously crafted a,b,a,b ever could.

    “Well done AJ-san.”
    *exit stage left*

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