Letter Day: 25; General Malfeasance

December 10, 2007

     I have two questions. Why does poetry suck so hard? Why are sandwiches so good?

This is important.

Zack the Wis,

Pemberton, Il

Because, Zack…Poetry is lies, and Sandwiches are truth.

  Sandwiches are proof of Gods mercy. Like a noble Pawn (toast) which has traversed the board to become a Queen, a Sandwich is dignity realized to greatness. There is no burden it cannot ease, no slight it cannot amend, no lunch it cannot embiggen. I love you, sandwiches.

 Poetry, on the other hand, is deception in the guise of revelation. Every whisper of nuance, every curl of innuendo, robs us of our god given right to have our language plain spoken and our similes as direct as  straight arrows. Its (poetry’s) subversion of blunt force intent pushes us further into a world of listing ambiguity and equivocating devils.  

*******

 You haven’t talked about your job much lately. How are things going on the work front?

Carl from Montana.

 It’s been uneventful for the most part. Though they hired a new crop of employees that need breaking in. For instance: A co-worker just partially overheard me talking about a story where a horse was fought. He felt the need for clarification. The exchange went as such:

Eavesdropper: Did you just say you tortured a horse?

AJ: Yeah, so. I tortured a horse…what are you, the Lone Ranger?

Eavesdropper: Are you serious?

AJ:  Yep. I hate horses and everything they stand for. Only thing keeping me from torturing one right now is the small elevators.

Eavesdropper: Even if you’re joking that is still a horrible thing to say.

AJ (looking wistful): Man, if I had a Horse right now I’d torture it until it barely had enough strength to carry me somewhere I could find a nice fresh horse, to torture.

 The Eavesdropper then turned back around and has since avoided interjecting in my conversations.

********

(This ties nicely into the last one)

Don’t you ever worry people will believe all the terrible claims you make about your self on your blog? You really make a pretty damming case against yourself being a decent human being.

Russel D.

Hot Springs, CA

 Honestly, Russel, if a stranger sucker punched me[1] over something I wrote on Beats Entropy it would be the high water mark of my artistic career. There are three components to a successful rhetorical engagement

-Credulity

-Emotional investment

– Integration into the broader imaginative landscape.

 If someone is moved enough to form a concrete perception of me, and have a sustained interest in that perception, than I have hit the trifecta.

 Am I a better person than portrayed? Well, I’d almost have to be to have avoided incarceration this long. The question(s) is how much better? And in what way? It’s that ambiguity that allows BE to exist as broader referential structure that can engage in way a literal truth cannot. Or I may be a a deeply disturbed individual who gets a Cassandraesque rush out of confessing my crimes to a disbelieving public.

[1]A non Lady type stranger would still be in for some pretty serious retaliation…but I would think well of them after the fact.

********

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11 Responses to “Letter Day: 25; General Malfeasance”


  1. The pictures, by the way, are of my Hallowen costumes: Designed by a commitee of Myself, Kenji, and Sabra…drawn/lettered by Kenji.

  2. max Says:

    Nice shoulders. May I whistle or is there still a moratorium on whistling?


  3. The moratorium was lifted due a Minnesota lower court injuction.

  4. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    “Eavesdropper: Did you just say you tortured a horse?

    AJ: Yeah, so. I tortured a horse…what are you, the Lone Ranger?

    Eavesdropper: Are you serious?

    AJ: Yep. I hate horses and everything they stand for. Only thing keeping me from torturing one right now is the small elevators.

    Eavesdropper: Even if you’re joking that is still a horrible thing to say.

    AJ (looking wistful): Man, if I had a Horse right now I’d torture it until it barely had enough strength to carry me somewhere I could find a nice fresh horse, to torture.”

    …if text laughter wasnt so irritating I would fill your page with HAs -_- (smileys are slightly less irritating)

    Also, I would buy that shirt. Not that actual shirt as I suspect taint, but that design.

  5. thekenji Says:

    “AJ and the tortured horses” would be a good band name.

  6. baredfeetandteeth Says:

    Also presents interesting concepts for t-shirts

  7. max Says:

    ::: whistling :::

  8. sabretooth Says:

    Hey! Do I get credit for my stellar photography work here?!

  9. sulya Says:

    Why is it I am most amused by the fact that the backdrop to these (absolutely fabulous) photos is a whole whack of magnetic poetry pieces???

  10. sabretooth Says:

    if only you could read some of the poetry that’s up there!

  11. thekenji Says:

    Hmmm, on second thought, maybe the band name should be:

    Bray-J and the tortured horses

    or

    Nay-J and the tortured horses


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