Fairwell to the Chud cave

July 8, 2008

I moved again. This will be my 14th home in the past ten years. There are murderous drifters that maintain a more static address. Mind, every house has been within an eight block radius: more pacing, I suppose, than wandering proper. I’m not sure if it’s boredom with status quo that drives me, or just a delayed awareness of a poor initial choice…repeatedly. 

I left my couch, entertainment unit, and air conditioner behind. There was no specific grudge[1]: they had just outlived there usefulness. I also discarded a poorly funded library’s worth of books, three quarters of my dishes, and the clothes of a smaller man of questionable taste. It took 40 minutes to pack the truck, and 20 to unload it. My life takes an hour to transport. I am unsure how to feel about that. The movers charged me an extra hour for the time it may have taken them to get to my house. This seems unfair, but my friends assure that sort of hypothetical billing is the norm.

After the fact I realized I had failed to transport my cat. The Jewish lass lent a cat carrier that was laughably undervolumed for the task. Felica’s girth required it be disassembled, then reassembled around her… the sort of accommodation normally reserved for vast tunnel borers, or the relocation of antique houses. The walk home tested the limits of my will, and the ligaments in my shoulders. She seemed to be pulling nutrients directly from the air; spitefully increasing her mass with every step. It was a long walk.

Halfway home the ache and empty streets left me feeling inexplicably like the Incredible Hulk.

The new place is cool. High ceilings, big square rooms, no Chud cave. A pianist lives in the apartment above me: I feel like I need to start doing classier things so I can better suit my soundtrack. My bathroom is gleaming and tiled, with the acoustics of a room five times it’s size. I am beginning to suspect this apartment was intended for someone with a deeper appreciation of community theatre.

Unpacking will come in it’s own time.


[1] This is untrue in the couches case. It was a incremental betrayer of the highest order, failing to fulfill the most basic tenants of couchdom.


8 Responses to “Fairwell to the Chud cave”

  1. This is, by the by, the reason for my poor post count of late. I had a lot of relocation buisness to sort out.

  2. conundrum Says:

    We’ve missed you. Congrats on the new home but I’m thinking you are a nomad trapped in a limited geographical terrain. I must say that, even though my last two moves were each 11 years in the making, the move itself would have been far easier and probably more esthetically pleasing if I too could eliminate the majority of my material possessions.

    I hope you don’t come to regret residing beneath that piano – classical or otherwise. But even if you do, it will only be a few months, right?

  3. Pollyanna Sassmaster Says:

    Does the pianist know how to play The Lonely Man? Do the improved bathroom acoustics mean you will finally record and release an album of tub-sung songs?

  4. Monkey Says:

    props on shedding some material belongings … in my view it is perhaps the only sure way to remain focused on things that really matter (relationships, inner spaces, personal growth, etc.)

    I too have had an experience of transporting a large cat by hand … it is no fun at all, especially if it decides to complicate things by adding a “I’m hot an uncomfortable and I’m gonna let you know it” soundtrack to the affair.

  5. sabertooth Says:

    I really like this piece AJ – well written and evocative. Very nice!

  6. max Says:

    The couch was fourteen years old right?

    Wait, you forgot the cat? You are in a lot of trouble.

  7. Jive Says:

    I’ll miss the element of mystery the Chud cave added to your apartment but I like the new place better overall.

    P.S. I don’t think the Hulk could carry your cat.

  8. sulya Says:

    A few of my many (many) moves have been huge. Across provinces, countries, continents and oceans but I just moved 7 blocks and it was the biggest move I’ve ever made in my life.

    It is not the distance I don’t think… It is perhaps who we are or try to be (or even want to try to be) on the other side???

    “She seemed to be pulling nutrients directly from the air; spitefully increasing her mass with every step.”

    I am still laughing and I think I might be in love with your cat…

    Congrats on the new digs, they sound lovely actually.

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