My new home
January 17, 2009
I have a new home. Or at least a place for the larger part of my time and essential possessions; the personal connection is still lacking. There’s still this thin umbilical tendril to my seedy apartment down the street, and the bachelorbirth within; its squalor and disarray having sustained me in bleak and mysterious ways. I imagine this is a temporary condition, a phantom limb that fades with need; but I’m not sure if my respectable new digs will form the same attachment.
The new place is nice, though cold: and I don’t mean in terms of its metaphorical austerity…I mean in terms of my balls freezing to the toilet seat should I sit too carelessly forward. In a bold experiment the old owners decided to test the R-value of gum wrappers and mean spirited whispering. The gum wrappers have long departed, leaving only taunts and innuendo to insulate us from the bitter winter chill. My lady friend assures me a space heater and good slippers will remedy this problem; I fear the cold has already driven her mad.
This change in situation in part explains my absence from this site. My lifelong battle with crystal methamphetamine and dried tiger semen also played a contributing factor. At least one of these distractions is on the wain, though, so expect me around these parts regular again.