Letter Day 103: Esprit de corpse
February 8, 2009
Did you read this shit: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/02/skydiving.death/index.html
How messed up is that kid going to be?
Baffled in Burlington, On
Plenty, BIBO…plenty. How boring is the rest of this kids life going to be in comparison? How do you match the excitement of plummeting earthward at 200 miles a hours in a malfunctioning parachute, trying to steer the busted tarp one handed, whilst a freshly corpsed colonel whispers the secrets of the dead into your ear. You’ve essential cheated death and taken a life your first time out of the box: you would need to perform an abortion while jumping coyote gorge on rocket skis to get the same kind of murder sex thrill. You could strangle two orphans, while hanging from a failed coaster safety harness, mid loop de loop, and still not match the intensity of that initial Thanotic rush.
I give that kid six weeks before he’s shooting heroin and throwing tombstones off busy highways overpasses. It’s what I would do.
I need some titles for children books I plan on writing someday down the road. I find it easier if I start with the title and plot accordingly. Can you help a brotha out? I’ll mention you in two forwards and a endnote.
That is not really my area of expertise, Judd, but I will give it shot.
Try these on for size:
Antoine the bedazzled ocelot: a tale of fashion furpaws and animal cruelty
Lisping ponies get shot
Rimjobs: the specialest kind whistling that only mommies and daddies can do
Ricky NoParents and the picnic of sorrows
Fractions for factions: the Jihadist guide to imperialist mathematics; Death to America edition
Rainbows are great.
You seem pretty dependant on the “Like” “As” and pre-fixless metaphor crutches. Why do you feel the need to compare things so much? Is it so hard to just say what you mean?
Baltimore Public school system
I don’t know, Alton. I suppose I just love the boozy inclusiveness of a good metaphor; the way it wraps an arm around the big ideas and walks the worst of the heavy off. Without them, matters of consequence can only be discussed by liars and the immensely patient: and I lack patience.
For instance, saying: “Bad sex is like putting on too small boots, in a burning building, in the dark” covers a lot of ground, and is colorfully ambiguous enough that the listener can fill in the details from personal experience: you are not trying to explain, you are trying to evoke. I’m rarely trying to hammer a point into someone’s head; I just want to layout where I’m at, and let them find their equivalent locality.