Note how my subjects stare adoringly at me.
Or perhaps they are judging me…and it’s making me sad.
This picture only confirms what I have long believed. You are indeed the king of pudgy cat people. The crown and spoon are merely symbols for those too obtuse to see the obvious. Now I’m not saying that their adoration of you is misplaced, not at all. Your potential as a tyrannical despot is acknowledged in the most exalted of circles (Dr. Kissinger has been dropping your name at all the right think tanks) The trouble is your lean physique, combined with your side career as a personal trainer. This kind of pro-fitness agenda will only ferment hatred and rebellion among the pudgy cat people. Your rule will soon be threatened by subversive movements. Hide the spoon and keep a spare hat in a suite in Dubai.
Sunny windows, sunflower walls and [gasp!] art nouveau poster? What have you done with the real AJ Valliant you outer space imposter?
hmmm… I am dumbfounded. Where can I get a cat hat?
“hmmm… I am dumbfounded. Where can I get a cat hat?”
No problem, you can make one at home. All you need is:
1) two large elastic bands
2) some wood glue
3) a curling iron
4) three medium sized extra hefty garbage bags
5) a paring knife
6) one cat (mid to large sized)
Don’t forget the yellow bow tie. Keep it classy.
I like this picture a ridiculous amount.
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