I’m taking a walk; contest winners will be calculated

 

 I woke up wrestling with someone else’s conscience this morning; exhausted by old dreams and old wounds I can’t say I gave much of an accounting of myself. In the wake of this conflict I’ve discovered a snarling, seething, irritable fellow, prone to persecution delusions and run on sentences.

  I’ve tried all the usual half measures to remedy: brooding, glaring, ruminating, it seems the bile is sunk a little deeper than I thought. I suppose I’m going to have to drag my twitching, teeth baring, contentious self out for long walk to improve my humor. Engtech will be in charge of the store while I’m out, so you kids play nice and maybe I’ll bring a treat for you when I get back.  

Letter Day: Triumvirate

  

 As a young boy I dreamt that everyday could be Letter day; my father called me a fool and said such a thing could never be. Today, today is letter day, and I am redeemed. A little.  Let’s get down to business.

  

Letter 1 

Dear Doctor, When I do yoga, I fart alot but my farts don`t smell, what`s up with that?

Danger Mouse

Again I have to stress that I am not a medical Doctor, that said I think I can help you out here. That “fart”, is not a gastrointestinal by-product: your body is actually expelling the excess amounts of trendy self righteousness, and hippie sanctimony, that is generated while practicing yoga. Though irritating there no real damage caused.  You are fortunate that it was not a Kundalini yoga session, where the pretentious faux spiritual vapours can reach sufficient concentration to permanently damage ones ability to engage in critical thinking.